the blind leading the blind (part 20):1. a guy who loves you doesn’t cum on your face- especially if he hasn’t met your parents!
2. making out is like medicine- and sometimes, it’s like a free micro-dermabrasion!
3. don’t move your lips while you text.
4. every time you break up-it’s like you’re a virgin all over again, and who you lose your virginity too is very important. So choose wisely!
5. don’t buy four packs of condoms at rite aide on sunset and Fairfax, in all different sizes, then make eye contact and smile at random dudes in line. it’s off-putting.
6. don’t put lip gloss on in public. It makes you look desperate and insecure. I say this because I am constantly putting lip gloss on in public and men have told me that I appear super desperate and insecure.
7. blue-tooth + you = unfuckable and wrong.
8. ‘once you go black, you never go back’ is not just a catchy phrase.
9. nine shallow, one deep. figure it out dudes.
10. clean out your fucking closet you trash hording filth monger! and i mean that in the NICEST way!
